I hope you've got a health care plan and if you don't I understand
But I got a question for ya', does your hideout have a covered lot?
And here's the hours I'm looking for, a part time shift from noon to four
But not on Tuesdays cuz that's when I Dungeon Master for my friends

Do I qualify for this?, Well let me tell you what you've missed
I fired lasers from a sub, one year I blew a whole bridge up
I spent a month up on the moon, raised in rank peon to goon
I could've gone much higher, except for the fact my boss was burned alive
By a man shooting magma from his hands
I saw my job go up in a flame and it's a shame

I'm curious what you pay and I could start today
Have faith in what's inside like Cringer turning in to Battle Cat
So here I am again and with this leaky pen I summarize my skill set
Realize my path in life is set: I'll always be a henchman

You ask me what it is I'd do if I saw someone steal from you
I'd stab him in his back and take it for myself, of course, you see
I know that's what you'd want to hear, so drop a line to Señor Fear
Is Dr. Hatred in your Five? He'll eat your bill alive
So you better call now before he heads underground
To fight the troglodytes in their cave, he's got a full plate

Is there 401k? And dental would be great
Joints disconnect like Voltron, I've got bum knees not lions to stand on
So here I am again, I love the feng shui in this den
I've worked for Psycho Possum. Compared to his your place is awesome
Oh, I'll always be a henchman

Other guys have weeks vacations
I work for dudes with lacerations on their faces
These people they have aspirations
They want to rule a private nation
When the screws you have are loose, what else you gonna do?

Appreciate your time today, there's not much more to say
Hope I'm what you're looking for though
You'll find I'm handy just like Panthro
Oh, I'll always be henchman
Oh oh oh oh oh, I'll always be a henchman
Oh oh oh this is what I do, I'll always be a henchman
This is who I am, I'll always be a henchman