This is the story of Mary and Willi
Modern lovers who never met
They're both lookin' for that perfect love
Neither one's found it yet
Ya see Willie wants his women beautiful
Or Willi don't want em at all
If Willi can't have a beauty on his arm
Willi stays home
Willi drinks beer
Willi watches ball
That's why willi ain't got no woman
Let's see why Mary ain't got no man
Let's' a take a look a look at ole har workin' Mary
Got a little business it's doin' well
Well, she says her workin' life is heaven
Her personal life is hell
Maybe Mary is much to choosey
And she might wind up alone
If Mary can't have Mister perfect on her arm
Everyone else is wrong
Mary Ain't got no one to call her baby
Willi ain't got no shoulder to learn on
Nothin' ordinary
Ever do for Willi and Mary
That's why Willi ain't got no woman
That's why Mary ain't go man