If I were a carpenter I'd hammer in the mornin' oops
If I were a carpenter and you were a railin'
I'd nail you anyway hey man I'm sailin'

If I were a moonshiner would you still find me
Pedlin' the booze I make in the middle of the freeway

If I were an old statute and you were a pidgeon
Hummm hum hum I wouldn't put you above me

If I were a fisherman and you were a mermaid
Would you swallow a worm for me or would you rather have a fish aid

If I were a farmer would you be frightened
To work in the hay with me that'd be excitin'

If I were a miller by the name of Roger
I guess I'd be King of the Road that rich little codger

Workin' with wood is OK with me
Hey I got a saw you wannna see my saw
It's a see saw you block head
You wanna see my work shop baby oh will you pine for me
You kinda left me out on a limb that time

If I were a carpenter I'd mash my fingers
I think we got this song pretty well built
Just nail it down before the studio falls in